The Seasons
by gorey
Summary: With each season, it went further. And further. And now, Haru doesn't think he can find a way out. He's too far in love. But what about Yuki? Is Haru enough for him? HaruxYuki Lemon Slight Spoilers
1. Spring

**The Seasons: **1** - **Spring

**Rating:** M

**Genere: **Romance, angst, comedy.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Furuba. I know, it's a bummer.

--

When had all this started? Hatsuharu couldn't even remember. It had been almost a year, hadn't it, since the very first time?

Well, it's not like you write these things down on a calendar.

Flowers were dying. Grass was turning brown at the tips. Leaves were yellowing and starting to drop from the limbs of the trees they'd once so _lovingly_ clung to. He could see it all from his bedroom window. It reminded Haru of himself and Yuki, and the decay that their relationship was starting to come upon. Not even a year and things were already browning at the edges. His multicolour hair was going in all directions, nose pressed to the glass as well as his hands, and his eyes were wide and staring at all the changes that were coming with the new season. Autumn.

The Sohma boy shut his brown eyes slowly, shaking aside the coldness around him and going back to a warmer time, in Spring... yes, that was the beginning. Spring.

_The flowers were beginning to blossom again, and the sun was bright and smiling, the best weather for such a perfect day. Haru could have asked for nothing more, as he yawned and flopped down on the grass in the garden behind Shigure's house. Tohru was inside cooking, and the smell was wafting out to them from a cracked window. Yuki sat beside him, writing History notes about some emperor. This was bliss. Aside from the homework, of course - but Haru never bothered with that stuff, anyway._

_"Yuuuki." He called, reaching out to close the book his cousin's nose was buried in. "Put aside your work - what's the point of school even ending if we have work to do later?" The rat blanched and yanked the book back, blinking at Hatsuharu incredulously. _

_"I happen to care about my grades, Haru, and so should you." Yuki chastised, but his scoldings couldn't mask the small smile that was always on his lips whenever he was around the cow. Haru shook his head, tsk-tsking, and rolled over to pluck the petals from a newly-bloomed flower. With each petal, he thought, 'do the homework, don't do the homework, do the homework, don't do the homework...'_

_Of course, the very last one ended on 'do the homework.' The flower was just like Yuki - getting on to Haru for not wanting to work. And it was so pretty and pale, too. He sat up automatically and stuck the flower behind Yuki's ear, making a photo-frame motion with his fingers and looking through it. "Aaah, a perfect picture." He said, calmly, as his cousin stared at him._

_"Haru..." The rat blushed, reaching up to lightly touch the flower. While he was distracted, his cousin suddenly grabbed the book he'd been taking notes from and got up, running off into the woods. "HARU!" Yuki said again, only this time his voice was full of shock rather than timidity. He rose to his feet and ran after him, following the other Sohma deep into the trees and bushes. "Come back with my book! Stop!" He tried to be angry, but all of the words he yelled were interrupted by laughter. This was a game they used to play as children. Now they were teenagers, and for some reason, it was still fun._

_Hatsuharu hid behind a tree, and listened to the sound of Yuki running up after him. "Haruuuu...?" Yuki called softly, walking, light footsteps sounding against the soft grass. Suddenly there was no noise. Had he gone away? Haru turned to look around the tree only to be met face-to-face with Yuki. _

_"Ah." The cow said, and the book was ripped away. _

_The silver-haired boy grinned and said, panting a little from the running, "You and I need to go back to the hou--" but was unable to finish his sentence, because Haru had tackled him. They rolled in the grass, onto a bed of flowers and then into taller grass again, fighting for the book. Well, it had been about the book at first, but eventually the book was left behind somewhere and they just kept play-fighting. They weren't sure how long they did that for, but it must have been a long time, because suddenly they were laying there, breathing ragged, Haru on top of Yuki and pinning him down, with the sun starting to set. _

_Yuki smiled up at him, struggling just a little before relaxing again, having no more energy to fight. He expected Haru to get off and declare his victory, but the cow did not, rather, he continued to look down at the boy beneath him. There was something strange in his eyes that Yuki could not place, something almost like a glaze, or a fog, and though both of them had relaxed, their breathing was still loud. The rat found himself gazing at Haru's lips before his eyes flickered back up to meet the other's. _

_For what felt like forever, their eyes were locked like that, until finally Haru moved, and his fingers traced the curve of Yuki's bottom lip, making the rat shudder, though his gaze still did not stray. Finally, they both moved toward eachother and their lips met, at first unmoving. Soon though, they were kissing carefully, lips meeting then parting slowly, Yuki's hands in Haru's hair and the cow's hands on either side of the other's waist. _

Haru cut himself off from the memory, buring his face in his hands and rocking back and forth. Eventually, he forced himself to rise, shutting the curtains of his window and slipping into bed, going off into a dark, dreamless sleep where he didn't have to remember how happy everything had once been.

--

Hey, Rain here. So, did you like the first chapter? It's mostly an introduction to what is to come. Yeah, it's all sad at the end, but trust me, there's lots of romance and humour to come. But I can't avoid the angst. -slams head into keyboard-

Hm. Well, there's lemon in the next chapter.

Review!


	2. We were like the flowers

**The Seasons: **2** - **We were like the flowers.

**Rating:** M

**Genere: **Romance, angst, comedy.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Furuba. Woe!

--

Yuki entered the room and everything seemed to disappear. Haru's eyes followed him everywhere; from where he set his books down on the desk, to where he kicked off his shoes and put them neatly away in the closet. The rat shrugged off his school blazer, folding it halfway and hanging it over the back of a chair. Eventually - no, _finally_, Yuki came to the bed and laid down beside Haru.

"How was the student council today?" Haru asked, turning on his side to look at Yuki, who shrugged.

"Same as usual. Hectic." He smiled the small, shy smile that Hatsuharu found so charming. The cow reached out and trailed a finger down Yuki's jaw to his neck, making the boy shiver. They moved closer together and began to kiss, arms going around eachother and legs entwining. The two of them stayed that way for a while, before the rat mentioned _her_. "Machi was especially social today, compared to how silent she usually is." He said, casually. He'd been talking of how much he liked that girl for a month now.

"That's nice." Haru said, feeling a familiar sinking sensation in the pit of his stomache. He got this feeling whenever he and Yuki couldn't be together because there was too much of a chance of someone walking in, he got it when Yuki hadn't called for a few days, and lately, he got it whenever Yuki mentioned this girl.

"Yeah, it really is." The rat smiled fondly, looking off at a point over Haru's shoulder. She made him so curious, and happy, and bemused. All these different emotions because of a girl that he hardly even _knew_. Hatsuharu found himself jealous. It had taken him years to get that kind of attention from Yuki.

Haru interrupted Yuki's thoughts, which were surely of Machi, with a kiss and a hand trailing down to his zipper. Soon they were making love, and all the while, Haru's mind was on a different place in time. Spring again.

_It was going to be the first time. Haru just knew it. He wasn't sure how, but something inside of him was sure that tonight would be the night._

_He was in Yuki's bed, and twisting beneath the covers, both of them letting out tiny moans and heavy breathing. Their shirts were off, tossed onto the floor, and they were making eachother gasp and shudder by finding the sensitive spots on eachother's torsos. It all felt good, but still, Haru wanted something more. He grinded against Yuki as he kissed him, and in response the rat wrapped his legs around Haru, vague noises coming from his throat with each bit of friction. Usually by now they had forced themselves to slow down and calm down with their experimentations, but this time, it was heavy; this time, there was something that each of them needed._

_Haru daringly slipped a few fingers down to the clasp on Yuki's pants. He undid it slowly, looking into the other's eyes searchingly and finding no objections. Soon the pants were gone, and Yuki lay there, exposed, breath hitched as he let Hatsuharu touch him. The cow's hand was warm, and he responded to it with warmth of his own. A tiny cry escaped Yuki's lips as he felt Haru slide a finger up his length, and his hips jerked upward a little. He reached out needily to Haru and pulled him into a desperate kiss, hands fumbling with Haru's pants as he realized that the grinding would feel even better with no clothes on. _

_Yuki turned out to be right. When they felt their erections against one another, the kissing grew rougher, and as Haru rocked above the rat, making them rub together, Yuki moaned loudly. He was suddenly very, very glad they were alone in the house today._

_The cow stopped rocking against Yuki long enough to move his hand down, fingers gently grazing each bit of flesh that it could along the way. Suddenly the rat felt filled, as a finger was inserted into him, and then pulled out slowly. It felt intriguing. "Haru... do that again." Yuki murmured, his hands going up to Haru's shoulders. His cousin complied, moving his finger in and out, before adding a second finger. This hurt a little. And then a third, which hurt a lot more. Haru wasn't sure how, but he knew just how to do this. He decided to blame Ayame for it. Somehow, everything could be blamed on Ayame. With all of his loud, perverse comments, he must have picked up something, in the back of his mind._

_Yuki gritted his teeth against the pain, as Haru began to work and stretch him. He focused on the parts of it that felt good, and on Haru's breath tickling his neck. When Haru replaced the fingers with something much larger, and harder, Yuki's back arched and he moaned at the amazing stretch and the pain, followed by the intense pleasure. A slow rhythm was started, with Hatsuharu pulling slowly in and out until Yuki begged him to go faster. They did this for what felt like both an eternity, and not nearly long enough, until they came together, panting and crying out eachother's names._

_They lay together afterwards, holding eachother. Haru nibbled on Yuki's ear, making him laugh softly and snuggle up closer. This felt right. Haru felt happy, and fully relaxed, as well as incredibly satiated. Eventually, the two of them fell asleep, Yuki going first, with the cow gazing at his pretty face for a while before he, too, went into dreamland. Their relationship then had just truly begun to bloom, just like the flowers were doing outside Yuki's bedroom window. Summer was coming. What warmth._

Now, again, Haru lay staring at his cousin. Yuki was sleeping peacefully, face close to Haru's chest, silver hair falling across his pale skin. Usually this sight made the cow relax, and put him to sleep, but not tonight. Tonight, all he could feel was something painful, rather than the usual drowsiness. It felt like his heart was getting jabbed at with a knife, and in the pit of his stomache there was just hollowness. All of it gave him a sense of foreboding, which only made the cow even more uneasy.

This was only the beginning of the confusion.

--

Rain here! Enjoying the story?

Trust me, there'll be humour in the next chapter. I'm trying to get the plot set-off, here. "Machi's ruining everything." That's basically what I'm trying to say. 3

Review!


	3. Summer

**The Seasons: **3** - **Summer

**Rating:** M

**Genere: **Romance, angst, comedy.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Furuba. 'Nuff said.

Flashbacks are in italics.

--

**HARU'S POINT OF VIEW.**

Shigure's cigarette was sending tendrils of smoke into the air. I watched it form a claw that wrapped around the piles of paper stacked around us, and then rise up into the air and disappear. There was a chill wafting about us, drifting in through an open window, and making me shiver. Fall was upon us.

"Sensei..." I murmured, watching as Shigure picked up a piece of paper, and read it before crumbling it up and tossing it over his shoulder into the pile of discarded storylines. He was trying to figure out his next novel. Slowly, he looked up at me, and I saw that his glasses slipped to the tip of his nose. He pushed them back up, and smiled.

"Yes, Haru-chan?"

"I was wondering something." My fingers traced the cracks in between the floorboards that we sat on, and my eyes stayed down, unsure of what exactly I wanted to know. My brain worked for the words, and my mouth tried to form them, opening and closing a few times. I glanced Shi-san's way. He was looking at me curiously, but, as always, patiently. "Do you know how it feels to not know if you're... _enough _for someone?" I bit my lip, looking away again, expecting the usual laughter that Shigure always used as a response to serious questions.

I was surprised to actually get an answer.

"Yes." The writer said, making me look back up sharply. He slipped his hands into his kimono. I must have been gaping at Shigure, because suddenly he laughed. The laughter was relaxing, and made me realize that I needed to shut my mouth, which was hanging open in shock. "What is it?" He asked me, with a grin. "You seem very amazed."

To tell the truth, it seemed impossible for the greatly _overwhelming_ Shigure to not be enough for somebody. Too _much_, maybe, but never lacking. "It's just, ah, I didn't think that _you_ of all people would know the feeling." I shrugged, and scratched my arm, smiling a bit sheepishly. The dog laughed again, rolling his eyes.

"I think I've known every feeling that there is to know, when it comes to love." He said, waving a hand dismissively. "But why are you asking such a thing?" His brow furrowed, and I felt myself throwing up mental walls just in case he tried to read my mind. I don't know why, but I've always thought that Shigure could see inside my head. Briefly, I imagined him sitting inside a purple circus tent, with a banner that said "The Amazing Shigure" on it. Interesting.

I made myself lose the imagery and focus on the subject at hand. "Oh, I don't know... just wondering." I said, unconvincingly.

Shigure gave me an incredulous look, which made me glance away. "Whatever you say. But I've noticed something." He leaned in closer to me, taking my face in his hands and staring very hard. My eyes grew wide, and I wondered what the hell he thought he was doing. He squinted one eye, and gave a small, "hmmm."

"Um, Sensei?" I asked, blinking.

"Your eyes have bags under them. And you look sad all the time, lately." He said, finally letting me go, then added, "I sense a great disturbance in the force."

I laughed shakily. "Well, sleep hasn't been coming so easily for a while now." I shrugged, trying to dismiss the subject as he had done earlier and waving a hand. Shigure opened his mouth, probably to pry further, but I stood up before he could and started walking off. "Thanks for letting me hang out in your office, Sensei. And the talk." I managed to get to the door cooly, but once I'd slid the door shut I turned and ran. Out of the house I went, down the steps, and into the woods.

I wasn't sure how, but my feet found the exact place where Yuki and I had shared our first kiss, without me even trying. I leaned against a tree and sank down to the ground, sitting there and staring at the grass that we had once laid on top of. We'd come to this spot a few times after that, whenever the house was full of people and we wanted to be alone. Not lately, though.

It had been beautiful here, at the beginning of Summer. I remembered.

_The heat was intense, this time of year. August air made our bodies drip with sweat, for even though the trees around us offered shade, the thickness of the woods and the morning's rainfall created a lot of humidity. But I liked having a reason to take my shirt off, as well as Yuki's. We were laid out on the grass, looking at the clouds from in-between treebranches. Yuki had a green leaf tucked behind his ear that I'd put there, and I had a blade of grass between my lips._

_Yuki pointed upwards. "That cloud looks like a rabbit."_

_"Momiji learned how to fly?" I asked, squinting. Yuki snickered._

_"He'll terrorize us all with fly-by singing!" The rat exclaimed, and we both laughed. _

_Suddenly I felt Yuki shift and turned to look at him, and saw that he was crawling closer to where I lay. He climbed on me and laid there, looking down at my face. "Why, hello." I said, blinking up at him, looking into his pale-violet eyes. He smiled at me and took the other end of the blade of grass in his mouth, tugging on it until I let it go. He turned his head and parted his lips, letting it drop to the ground beside us. And then he kissed me, fingers sliding into my hair. I kissed back, my arms going around him. This was bliss, the feeling of our bodies so close and so hot, and our mouths and tongues staying together with no desire for air. _

_It felt amazing, and I was proud to be the only one who'd seen Yuki being this passionate. But soon our lips parted, and we both caught our breath. We smiled at eachother and I moved so that I could push him off and rolled on top of him. He pushed me away but I pinned him down. Wickedly I grinned, and said, "I win." Suddenly, though, Yuki had manuvered so that he could roll me off of him, and, moving with me, straddled my hips. He sat back, hands on my stomache._

_"I think you'll prefer that I'm up here, this time." He said, and I blinked curiously. It was a rare thing for him to want to do anything to me; usually I was the one doing all the work. _

_"Oh, really?" I had a hard time believing it, but rather than sound doubtful, my words came out with an edge of hope. A little attention sounded good._

_"Really." He rocked his hips against me, studying my face as my eyes fluttered at the sensation of friction. I moved with him, and he tipped his head back, shaking some strands of hair from his eyes, as well as the leaf, which fell onto my stomache. His hands slid up my body, knocking it off of me, and brushed over my nipples and then tickled them with his fingertips. I gasped and moved up against him harder, my hands gripping his knees. Suddenly, there was a lack of heat from that area, and my fingers were touching air._

_I looked down and saw that he was sliding down my body, and undoing my pants. He pulled the fabric from me, then my boxers, and I felt incredible heat and wetness as his mouth enveloped my erection. I couldn't look away from him; his eyes stayed on me the whole time, hyptnotizing, as his head moved up and down with the actions his tongue was preforming. The violet pools I stared into were fogged over with lust, and seeing that alone in Yuki's eyes made me feel so much pleasure, even more than what his mouth was doing. I loved seeing him this way._

My black-painted fingernails were digging into the grass as I stared at that spot where Yuki and I had laid that day. I was in love with the notion that he would want to make worthless _me_ feel good. It was a very rare occasion, and I remembered every detail. Usually, looking back on such a thing made me so turned on that I went to find the rat and paid him back for it, over and over. But now I just felt this growing emptiness. It was the same sick feeling I got whenever I heard the name _Machi._

Maybe I wouldn't be the only one to see Yuki be so passionate and hear his words of love. But oh, how I _wanted_ to be the only one. I felt my eyes start to sting and prickle at the edges, and then they grew warm and wet. I blinked and tears rolled down my face. _Please_, I thought. _Let me be enough for him. _

--

Hallo. So, I'm pretty happy with the turn-out of this chapter. Random Shigure appearance, yay!

Please review!


	4. Fall

**The Seasons: **4 - Fall

**Rating:** M

**Genere: **Romance, angst, comedy.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Furuba. Too bad, I have some nifty ideas pertaining to Ayame.

SPOILERS IN THIS CHAPTER.

--

There was something strange about today.

He could sense it, thick in the air, all around himself and Yuki. The rat was sitting up on his bed, looking down at Haru and absentmindedly rubbing his thumb and forefinger over a loose thread on his bedsheets. Haru was indian-style on the floor, a poster in front of him, working with a paintbrush on something for his school project on gardening.

"Haru, you don't even garden." Yuki said, with a more-giddy-than-usual laugh.

"I know. You've pointed that out about three times in the past half-hour." The cow said, glancing up at his... what were they, really? Friends with benefits? The term made Haru want to shudder. Somehow they seemed so much closer than that. "Besides," He held up a piece of paper covered in Tohru's handwriting. "I had Tohru write down most of what I need. The other stuff is made up, though."

Yuki laughed again. "Using Miss Honda like that..." He shook his head and laid down on his stomache so that his chin rested where he could still watch the cow paint little daisies in the corners of his poster. "Haru." He said, after a few moments of silence dragged by. "There's something I need to tell you."

Haru felt something sink inside of him, like a hand had reached into his stomache, wrapped its fingers around his intestines, and begun to pull. "Okay..." He murmured, eyes locked onto what he was painting, his mind going in all sorts of directions. There were so many possibilities when it came to what the rat might say, but he was sure it was something to do with _her._

Yuki began to talk about his day at school, and how he'd stayed after class with Machi. All the words were leading up to something sickening, and Haru couldn't make them out, waiting just for the part Yuki was delaying with his rant.

"You're going out with her now, aren't you?" Haru asked, through his teeth, keeping his head bowed so that Yuki couldn't see his face. He couldn't tell what he was feeling, exactly. A sort of numbness washed over him, as he waited for the answer, brief moments of feeling absolutely nothing. _Answer me. Answer me now_, he thought, feeling his hands shake.

"Yes." Yuki's reply came, and he stared at Haru intently. When Haru only nodded, but said nothing, it seemed to make the rat anxious. "There's one thing I want you know, Haru. You have to listen." Finally, the cow looked up, staring at him blankly.

"And what do you want me to know?"

Yuki took a deep breath. "That I love you. I really do." He searched Haru's face, but found nothing. "I just want to know... what it's like to be with a girl. But you mean more to me than her, I swear it. Haru--"

"How are you even going to do this? What about the _curse_?" Haru asked, trying not to sound too harsh, though his body and mind were threatening to turn black. Admittedly, though, hearing the words "I love you" had stunned him - but somehow, it only made his heart feel more broken.

"You know as well as I do that it's slowly fading. And besides, people in our family with the curse have gone on to lead their own lives. Look at Hatori." Yuki was starting to wipe at his eyes. _Don't cry_, thought Haru, feeling miserable, as though it was all his fault that the rat might feel so upset. But despite Haru's silent plea, the silver-haired boy was beginning to shake and weep, though he tried to keep himself quiet about it. Slowly, Haru rose and got the tissue box sitting on Yuki's bookshelf, and brought it over to him. The rat uttered words of thanks before wiping at his eyes and nose, sniffling.

Somehow, the cow remained placid. He felt so many different emotions running through him, all at once, that he had to hold himself back from starting to go black, and from crying right along with Yuki. He felt like throwing up, and like hugging Yuki, and like hitting the rat so hard he'd fly into the next century. But overriding all of it, was confusion.

If Yuki really loved him, then why did he need to know what it was like to be with someone else?

Sitting there, staring at Yuki for about an hour as he sniffled and ranted about Machi suddenly as though everything were all just fine between them, Haru knew his temper was rising. He'd taken Yuki's schoolbooks that had been lying there into his lap and was thumbing through the pages, not really listening to the rat, and not really reading. His heart was breaking, he could feel it, a crack doing right down the middle and threatening to force his body in two.

"Why aren't I good enough for you?!" Haru screamed, standing up and knocking the books that had been in his lap to the floor. Yuki stared at him, slowly rising from the bed and holding out his hands submissively.

"Haru, don't go black--"

"Fuck you." Haru snarled, reaching out for his cousin's neck, but stopping himself. His hands balled up into fists and he lowered them, body shaking as he tried to refrain from hurting Yuki, who looked both relieved and scared all at once. He probably thought it was a good sign that the cow hadn't hit him. "I can control myself." But Haru couldn't make any promises about the _next_ time his hand rose. "You truly are the rat of the zodiac." Haru added, quietly.

"What?" Yuki asked, confused. He took a step foward, and Haru tensed. He made himself turn away. He wouldn't look into those hypnotizing purple eyes. He was speaking his mind, _finally_, and couldn't risk losing himself.

"You're using me. Just like in the story, where the rat hitched a ride on the foolish cow." Hatsuharu elaborated, feeling a rush of nostalgia. He remembered this from when they were children, except then, it had been much more innocent and simple anger. This was... complicated. "You _say_ you love me, and you _say_ no one will ever be as special to you as I am. If that's so, then why do you need someone else?" Tears came to his eyes and he squeezed them shut, trying hard to make them go away. But his voice was cracking.

Yuki took another step foward. He didn't say anything, presumably because he hadn't yet found the words. He reached out, and touched Haru's shoulder. The cow turned and glared at him, the tears finally escaping and rolling down his cheeks. "_Don't touch me,"_ He hissed, and the rat's eyes widened as he withdrew his hand.

"Haru, please." He said, holding that hand over his heart. "I do _really_ love you. But as I said, I wanted to see what it would be like to be with a girl. And..." He trailed off as Haru's face contorted into something truly hurt and confused.

"No." Hatsuharu whispered, shaking his head. He looked upwards, blinking rapidly and trying to gather his thoughts. He felt so many mixtures of anger, and pain, and sadness. All the emotions were driving him crazy. "You make my heart _sting._" He said, finally, looking at the rat. "It feels like there's a nail jammed into me, and you just keep hammering it in further as each day goes by. I can't take it." Yuki looked like he was about to say something, but once again, Haru said, "No," and he shut his mouth.

"You have to make a _choice_, Yuki. Either you have me, and _only_ me..." Haru shut his eyes and took a deep breath. "Or you don't have me at all."

The rat's eyes grew very wide, and he opened his mouth to speak. Hatsuharu, though, didn't want to hear any more that night, so he turned and left, walking out of the door. He was shaking, and wiping the tears from his eyes, listening hard for the sounds of the door opening and someone running after him.

He heard no such thing.

--

Angst. Angst. Angst. -bangs head into a wall-

Hehe. Rain here. Hope you liked this chapter. I still haven't fully decided what I want to have happen next... review with your opinion. :)


	5. Winter

**The Seasons: **5** - **Winter

**Rating:** M

**Genere: **Romance, angst, comedy.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Fruits Basket. Who knew?

------

Winter.

Haru's breath hung in the air, his skin stinging from the cold wind he created, feet peddling quickly. His bike took him down sidewalks that seemed endless. Lately, this was almost all Haru could do. It kept his mind focused, it kept his hands and feet busy, it made him so exaughsted that he could go home and just pass out. The world sped by him, almost a blur, and he didn't have to worry about anything.

Only, that wasn't true. No matter how focused he kept himself on staying balanced, and on not crashing, the cow couldn't keep his mind from wandering. And now, Haru was failing at it miserably.

Every face he saw looked like Yuki. Every voice his ears might have picked up _sounded_ like Yuki. His mind dwelled upon those words.

_"Haru, please. I really _do_ love you." _

Haru's heart began to pump faster. His hands tightened around the handlebars that they gripped, so hard that he was sure that beneath his gloves, the knuckles were white. That emptiness returned. It was a deep and bottomless feeling, rather like that feeling you get when you take a step and don't realize it drops off.

Suddenly, the cursed boy's wheels began to swivel, and before he knew it he was on the ground. Haru felt burning sensations on his knees and the palms of his hands, and upon looking at the white fabric that covered them, discovered blood. As for his legs, the pants were ripped. The fall had come so quickly.

The cow snarled, and balled his hand up into a fist, rearing it back and then smashing it into the grass. "FUCK!" He screamed, anger going through him like blinding light. His body shivered and began to feel taken over. Black. Subconsciously, he was glad that no one was around to witness his little fit.

He punched the ground over and over, leaving scattered, bloody marks as the wounds grew wider. This lasted for what felt like hours, but could only have been minutes, before he fell back, panting, watching with half-lidded eyes as his breath created little clouds of fog. He then raised up his hands to look at them, peeling the gloves off and watching the blood trickle down his arms. The pain helped him calm down, and gave him something else to think about. He laid them down by his sides, palms up, fingers splayed, letting the cold air touch them. It felt horrible and real.

The cow's mind went to different places, again, and as always. But he had to rise once he noticed that the sun was going down. And it had started to snow. His legs ached, especially at the knees, and he felt a sharp pain with every step he took. Haru straightened his bike, and walked with it back up the road into civilization, hobbling.

People stared as he walked by, some muttered, one even asked if he needed help. He stared at the person blankly, before walking on, not even bothering with an answer. To be quite honest, he didn't know how he felt anymore. Just...

Numb.

When Haru got home, he went to his room soundlessly. His coat was shrugged off of his shoulders and dropped to the floor, and he paced to the bathroom without much looking around. He unlaced his boots, being careful not to rub the material too hard against his hands, and took off his shirt. When his pants were gone, he examined his knees, finding that they weren't hurt so badly as his hands.

Haru turned on the faucet to the bath, and filled the tub with steaming hot water and soap before crawling inside. He sunk into the water with a small sigh, closing his eyes, which filled with salty liquid and leaked in streaks down his cheeks. This was how he cried, lately. Silently and without even seeming to notice.

The water eventually became slightly pink, from his wounds, and when he stood and noticed that, a look of vague disgust came over his face. Haru drained the bubbly water and then rinsed off with a shower, trying to get rid of the feeling that he'd bathed in blood.

He left the bathroom in his boxers, yawning and stretching, ready to slip into bed and just forget about the whole day. But he froze, when he noticed that the window was open and someone was crawling into his room.

Haru stumbled backwards. He reached behind him toward the bookshelf, searching for a weapon, until he noticed the colour of the eyes gleaming at him through the dark.

Amethyst.

Yuki.


	6. It's Over

**The Seasons: **6 - It's Over.

**Rating:** M

**Genere: **Romance, angst, comedy.

**Disclaimer:** For the last time, I don't own Fruits Basket. But I think you have that memorized, now. =]

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**HARU'S POINT OF VIEW.**

I could see him, moving toward me in the dark.

"Yuki," I breathed, backing away without thinking. My voice was blank, but I felt confused. I didn't know whether I wanted to tell him to leave, or hold him, or throw him into the wall. Why was he here? To cause me more pain? It seemed to be the only possible reason, in my ever-pessimistic mind.

The rat moved fast, catching me by the hands. He pulled me foward, and I didn't resist this time, just watched his face, which I could see a little better now that he was closer. In the halflight from my window, cast by the moon, he almost seemed like a ghost. I wondered for a moment if he was just that, a ghost from my imagination. Either way, his touch was almost torturous.

"Haru, I can't... I shouldn't have." He murmured. I flinched as he let go of one of my hands to touch my cheek.

"But you did." I stated, voice still emtionless. I didn't want him to sense my anger and confusion. In my head, I actually heard myself saying, 'he might use it against you.' Had I really decided Yuki was that manipulative? And why shouldn't I? Hadn't he _used _me until he found something better?

All those questions when unanswered as the rat briefly shut his eyes. He drew closer and kissed me. I did nothing, keeping my eyes open, watching him as though he was a viper ready to rear its head and bite. He looked at me and seemed to notice my caution, and sighing, his head drooped and pressed against my chest. I felt something hot and wet touch me, and trickle down my skin. His tears. I tried hard to look disgusted, but failed as my arms instinctively went around his body. Some part of me, no matter what, would always be ready to comfort Yuki.

"Haru," Yuki said again, voice a little shaky. He sniffed, obviously trying to pull himself together, wiping at his eyes. And then he tried to speak again. "Haru." His voice was stronger. "I've come to try and apologise. You don't even know... whenever I looked at her, I only thought of you. When I couldn't touch her, or hold her, I thought of being in your arms. Please," the rat raised his head again, mouth close to mine. His breath tickled. "I need you to forgive me. I need _you_."

I remained silent, body unmoving though my mind was abuzz. Yuki's lips grazed my skin, down my neck, to my shoulder, in small butterfly kisses. I knew that if I didn't accept Yuki and take him back, I would feel miserable. It would remain as though this moment had never happened. Me, upset, constantly thinking of the rat, dwelling on what-might-have-beens. Falling off of my bike and landing in a careless heap. Throwing a fit. Getting migraines from thinking too much on such a moody subject.

And if I took him back? I could only hope for the best. Who was to say he wouldn't just do this again? Take me, hurt me, let me leave, then drag me back. I didn't want to feel used again. But I had to trust Yuki, at least one more time. I had to know if he could be what I wanted him to be: Mine.

He was waiting, hardly breathing. When I felt him press another kiss to my lips, I conceded, kissing back. He prickled like an excited animal and pushed me toward the wall, fingers going from my wet hair down to my chest and stomache.

"I miss your touch," He told me, the words whispered against my ear as his hand felt me up through my boxers. I gasped, head tilting back when he grabbed me. Soon I felt cool air, and was kicking the boxers off. He dragged me down, my hands fumbling with his clothes as we went. We became a tangled mess on the floor, pausing only to reach up and make sure my door was locked. He kept whispering to me. "I miss your mouth." We kissed again. "I miss your neck." His tongue flicked over sensitive spots on my skin. "I miss your..." He grabbed my cock again, this time with no fabric between us. And I touched him back, moaning softly.

He pushed my chest lightly, making me lay down. I obeyed, and watched as he straddled me. Vaguely, I recalled our memories in the woods close to Shigure's house. My teeth sank into my lip as he began to lower himself onto my erection, feeling intense pleasure I'd almost forgotten existed, since the presence of misery.

Watching him rock up and down over me, his face collecting a small blush, pale skin luminscent in my moon-lit room, I felt as though I was in a dream. This was perfection. I couldn't be happy any other way. Or at least, I wouldn't let myself believe otherwise.

I hoped that the rat in Yuki wouldn't use me again. I hoped that this would never end.

We'll see.

**FIN.**


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